When I set up 2 years ago I was adamant that weight loss was my ‘thing’. Having lost 2 dress sizes and a decent amount of wobble through hypnotherapy I was sure this was the thing I was going to do. But looking back at the mums I have worked with and helped, it would seem that maybe it isn’t weight loss, as such, that is my ‘thing’.
Overeating is oversimplified
You see, overeating and weight gain often have the same root cause as anorexia and bulimia. All three are eating disorders, they just manifest differently. We would never dream of suggesting that a sufferer of anorexia or bulimia was so thin because they didn’t know what they should eat. Nor that we should simply make them eat more than they do now and their life will go back to normal. We recognise that the sufferers are using food and eating (or non-eating) to help them cope with other underlying causes and we treat those causes at the same time as gradually working with them to increase food intake.
And so it is with overeating. Mums who overeat are using food to cope with all the other things going on in their lives that they don’t have the time, the understanding or the desire to deal with right now and if we stick them on (yet another) food restricting regime and expect everything to work out, we will be sadly disappointed.[Tweet “#Mums who overeat are using food to cope with all the other things going on in their lives that they don’t have the time to deal with right now”]
The feelings that we have about ourselves, the doubts and insecurities we have about our bodies, are still there once we’ve lost weight. We don’t magically fix the underlying causes by sticking to a reduced number of calories each day and depriving ourselves of chocolate. Whilst initially we may feel boosted by our new looks, unfortunately the failure, slip ups and days when the diet doesn’t fit around our family or into our activities only lead to a compounding of the negative way we feel about ourselves. This is why, by the time women come to speak to me, they feel that they are unworthy, that they are failures and that they are destined to be fat and unhappy forever.
Humour me for a moment…
What if you didn’t measure your worth in stones and pounds? What if you didn’t measure your success or validity by the dress size you wore? What if you were so happy with your life and your self that you never comforted yourself with food? How would it feel to eat whatever you wanted, knowing that it was your choice and that you would eat it and feel good about yourself regardless of what you ate, knowing that it wouldn’t lead to a binge, depression, guilt or needing larger jeans?
What if you felt happy with your life and your relationships? What if you could look in the mirror and be happy with the image and the person looking back at you? What if you liked who you are?
Because that is ‘my thing’. The mums who work with me leave having lost a little weight but with the tools to manage food and their eating habits themselves. They leave feeling good about themselves, feeling worthy and with such an understanding of their thoughts, feelings and habits that it means they no longer need to seek solace in food.
To find out more about the link between your emotions and your weight you’ll want to download your copy of my ebook “3 Secrets EVERY mum needs to know about losing weight!”