As a woman in business you make hundreds of choices every day. There are conscious choices, considering carefully and making a logical, reasoned argument for your final decision. However, the choices that have the greatest impact on our lives are the unconscious choices we make, every day, without realising we are making them. Keeping us from achieving the things we want to achieve, preventing us from feeling good about our bodies or losing weight.
I want to explain a little what mean by these unconscious choices. I used to be a franchisee for a large global pre-school programme and saw many professional working mums who were on the cusp of returning to work after their maternity leave. Many of them were going back on days they didn’t really want to go back, working more days or hours than they wanted to or were going back full time when they wanted to be part time. And the most common phrase they used to say to me was “I just don’t have any choice”.
Without any malice or judgement, I beg to differ. You ALWAYS have choices. In the above scenarios perhaps the consequences of the alternatives were not something that these women wanted to consider, for example if the pressure of working more hours was coming from the company then there was a difficult conversation to be had or alternative work to be found. If it were because of the money then perhaps downsizing homes, taking shorter, fewer or cheaper holidays was not an option they wanted to consider.
[Tweet “You ALWAYS have choices. Often you make them unconsciously.”]
These working mums, far from having no choice, were making unconscious choices, because the alternatives were not easy or acceptable to them.
Perhaps the first thing to do is to look at the areas you are not happy with and things you would like to change but feel powerless to do so. These are the times when you use the word ‘can’t’. I can’t exercise because…, I can’t leave the children because…, I can’t lose weight because… Or maybe it’s that you feel someone else’s actions are preventing you from moving forwards. I can’t because he won’t / can’t / doesn’t…
If it helps, list the things you’d like to change and then in the next column write down the first ‘reason’ you feel you can’t change it. Look and see what would happen if you did. Would you default on your mortgage? Have to find extra childcare? Now think if you are prepared to do that. It’s not wrong to say that you don’t want to give up your 2 week holiday abroad each year or your weekly bottle of wine, it just means that you are choosing to work that extra day a week so that you can.
So, if you think that you can’t find 10 minutes to listen to your hypnotherapy Mp3, or you don’t have time to go out for a run then maybe it’s because you are choosing to watch your favourite soap or even spend that time with your kids. I’m not saying it’s wrong or right, I’m saying it’s your choice.
If you’d like help identifying some of those choices you make that hold you back in your business or prevent you from losing weight and some help working out how to choose differently then you can book a Discovery Session with me.
And if you have any, tell us about the unconscious choices you have been making in the comments below.